OUTSIDERS!!!

In the grand tapestry of life, we often find ourselves weaving bonds with people we meet at work. We share works, deadlines, ideas, coffee breaks, laughter, frustrations, and even moments of silent understanding. Yet, at the end of the day, most of the time we are labelled by our own colleagues as OUTSIDER. But here’s a question that has been quietly nudging my thoughts since long — Is it fair, or even justifiable, to call our colleagues/seniors/juniors, who spend significant hours of their lives with us, OUTSIDERS?

Take a moment to reflect on this word ‘OUTSIDER’. Isn’t it carries a weight of exclusion, a notion that someone doesn’t belong, that they are on the periphery of our lives? But if we pause to consider a bit, how can someone who stands by us through professional highs and lows, who shares our daily struggles and triumphs and all kinds of Thick & Thin moments, can be called as an outsider?

On an average weekday, we spend more time with our colleagues than with our families. We sit side by side, brainstorming ideas, solving problems, celebrating achievements, and navigating setbacks. These are the people, who see us at our best and also our worst, who witness our growth as well as setbacks, and often become sounding boards for our dreams and frustrations. And yet, when it comes to defining relationships, we draw a line between work and personal life, relegating the colleagues to the role of OUTSIDERS.

But why do we do that? Is it because we are conditioned to believe that emotional bonds can only form outside the workplace? Do we really believe that the definition of a family is confined just to our parents, spouse and our children? Then what’s the point of calling anything like SECL Family/CIL Family/Coal Fraternity Family? Or, is it because we fear vulnerability in professional spaces and have trust deficit with our own colleagues with whom we work together? Whatever may be the reason, it’s worth questioning, whether this distinction is fair or necessary?

Whenever we work with our colleagues/seniors/juniors, it’s but natural that we also share countless conversations about our life beyond work — their well-being & how-about, their family, aspirations, and even fears. We many a times face a challenging time in our life, during which we get guidance, support and empathy from them, when it is needed the most. Yet, it’s a sheer irony that when someone asked us about our closest circle, their name hardly come up. Why? Because I have unconsciously categorized them as an OUTSIDER — a label that somehow made them less significant in the grand scheme of our personal life.

Such things really hit me hard. I have never distinguished anyone in my whole life based on anyone’s caste/creed/religion/region, etc. The credit for this goes to my parents and the environment in which I have been raised up, as they always appreciated and equally respected all the people coming from diverse background, irrespective of their cast/creed/religion. I generally take time to mix-up with people but once mixed up, I feel intense pain when it comes to parting away from anyone of them. In my school & college days, I used to literally cry a lot for hours whenever there came a times to say good bye to our school or college, just due to fear of losing contact with our friends and our mentors. At that time, I or rather i should say 'WE' hardly know even the definition of personal & professional boundaries. And perhaps, this habit continued in me, even if I joined my job in the coal industry. I interacted with my workers, staff & my colleagues with open heart and always used to become part, both in their personal joy & sorrow. I very well know that I have lots of shortcomings and weakness in mee. In fact, I consider myself as full of flaws. But two-three things which I can say with utmost conviction that – I never distinguished any person on the basis of cast/creed/religion/region, I always respect others and genuinely feel that everyone is better than me in some or other attributes, which I also like to learn & imbibe from them and I never have intention to hurt anyone in any way, unless there is no option left before me to act in contrary of my set believes. Here, it would be pertinent to mention that though I hate this very word 'I', I have to use it repeatedly here not to glorify myself but just to exemplify, so that anyone can relate with it. I beg your pardon at the outset for using so many 'Is' in this blog.

However, when I see the boundaries, people draw between work and personal life and treat the colleagues just as an Outsider, it really makes me wonder - are we short-changing ourselves by not acknowledging the depth of these connections? Are we denying ourselves the meaningful bonds which we owe with each other, simply because they originate in a professional setting?

I know that the professional life is very slippery and people do forget each other in the blink of an eye, as soon as we get transferred or our service tenure ends. However, I think, it’s the high time that we challenge this narrative. Let’s recognize that human connections are not limited to familial ties or friendships formed outside of work. Let’s honour the fact that relationships are built on shared experiences, empathy, and mutual respect — regardless of where they begin.

Calling someone an OUTSIDER based on where we met them, diminishes the value of shared moments and mutual growth. It strips away the humanity of our interactions, and reduce people to mere to the extent of the roles players rather than recognizing them as whole individuals, who touch our lives in meaningful. It’s a narrative that needs to change. Our workplace connections deserve acknowledgment and respect. They deserve to be seen for what they truly are — an integral part of our journey, which I think no one has right to snatch it from anyone.

Perhaps, it’s time to redefine what it means to belong. Perhaps, it’s time to see beyond labels and recognize the profound impact people have on our lives, irrespective of how or where we meet them.

Because at the end of the day, no one who walks with us, supports us, guide us, and shares our journey with us for such a long time, deserves to be called an ‘OUTSIDER’.

Thanking you

Sincerely yours

Sanjeev